It begins like this and just gets better:
NEW YORK, NY, April 1, 2010. At a press conference earlier today, Sebastian Melmoth, the Chief Executive President of the Lower Midtown Orchestra, announced details of the Orchestra’s 2010-11 season. The announcement marks yet another innovative yet traditional offering for an ensemble that Allan Kozinn, of the New York Times, has hailed as “also worth mentioning.” Bernard Leonstein, the Orchestra’s longtime Music Director, was also in attendance. Victor Famulus, the Chairman of our Board, participated via a remote link from Rikers Island, where he is being detained pending federal inquiries into his company, Grand Cayman Entities. Because of ongoing construction work in the Orchestra’s soon-to-be-beautifully-refurbished auditorium, the ConAgra Jiffy Pop™ Concert Hall, the press conference was held in the Food Court of Penn Station.Thanks to Cynthia Kirk for pointing out this funny verbiage.